Software Engineer and His Wife

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.


Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.


Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.


Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.


Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.


Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.


Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.


Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters...


Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.


Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

Can I Borrow $25???

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down! .

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father..

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard ! in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Berapa Harga Isteri Anda?????

Hargailah isteri kita.......

Mulianya seorang isteri disisi Allah...
Dan betapa berharganya wanita yang bergelar isteri
ini pada keluarga, suami dan anak-anak
Rugi dan binasalah suami-suami yang tidak menghargai isteri
mereka kerana isteri inilah yang akan membantu mereka di akhirat kelak.
Biarlah buruk mana isteri anda,
sayangilah mereka......

Beruntungnya seorang wanita yg ada rahim ini ialah dia bekerja
dengan Tuhan... jadi 'kilang ' manusia.
Tiap-tiap bulan dia diberi cuti bergaji penuh...
7 sehingga 15 hari sebulan dia tak wajib sembahyang
tetapi Allah anggap diwaktu itu sembahyang terbaik darinya.
Cuti bersalin juga sehingga 60 hari ,
Bila dah bersalin tu, susukanlah anak..jgn takut "kendur" atau
menggelebeh pulak..
Si suami pulak, jgn la berebut dgn anak utk menyusu pulak….
Cuti ini bukan cuti suka hati
tapi cuti yang Allah beri sebab dia bekerja dengan Allah ,
Tapi bila dah habis cuti tu.. layan lah suami.."offer" lah pada suami ,
Nabi bersabda : berjimak dgn isteri itu pahala ..jangan buat deekkk jeee,
Jangan buat alasan itu dan ini pulak….ingat tu si isteri yee!!!
Kata nak pahala lebih…

Orang lelaki tak ada cuti dari sembahyang.. . ..
sembahyang wajib baginya dari baligh sehingga habis
nyawanya..

Satu lagi berita gembira untuk wanita,
Sepanjang dia mengandung
Allah sentiasa mengampunkan dosanya,
Lahir saja bayi seluruh dosanya habis.
Inilah nikmat Tuhan beri kepada wanita,
jadi kenapa perlu takut nak beranak?

Marilah kita pegang kepada tali Allah.
Seandainya wanita itu mati sewaktu bersalin, itu dianggap
mati syahid, Allah izinkan terus masuk Syurga.
Untuk orang bukan Islam, dia tak dapat masuk Syurga tapi
Allah beri kelonggaran siksa kubur..
Untuk peringatan semua wanita yang bersuami
seluruh kebaikan suaminya, semuanya isteri dapat pahala
tetapi dosa-dosa suami dia tak tanggung.

Di akhirat nanti seorang wanita solehah akan
terperanjat dengan pahala extra yang banyak dia
terima diatas segala kebaikan suaminya yang tak disedari.
Contohnya bila dia redho suaminya pergi berjemaah di masjid
atau ke majlis ilmu, bersedekah.. ganjaran Alah keatasnya jua. .

Bila dia lihat suaminya tengah terhegeh-hegeh di titian
Sirat dia tak nak masuk syuga tanpa suaminya,
jadi dia pun memberi pahalanya kepada
suami untuk lepas masuk syurga.
Didunia lagi, kalau suami dalam kesusahan
isteri boleh bantu tambah lagi di akhirat.
Kalau seorang isteri asyik merungut, mulut selalu muncung
terhadap suami dia tak akan dapat pahala extra ini.

Manakala suami pula mempunyai tugas-tugas berat didalam dan
diluar rumah, segala dosa-dosa anak isteri yang tak dididik
dia akan tanggung ditambah lagi dengan dosa-dosa yang lain..
Dinasihatkan kepada semua wanita supaya faham akan syariat
Allah agar tidak derhaka denganNya.

Sesungguhnya wanita dijadikan daripada rusuk kiri lelaki.
Dia bukan dicipta dari kepala ke kaki, juga bukan dari tapak
kaki. Dia dicipta dari sebelah rusuk kiri lelaki supaya dia hampir
kepada kamu(lelaki), lengan lelaki dicipta untuk mempertahankan
wanita, dekat dengan hati lelaki untuk disayangi.

Woman was made from the rib of man,
She was not created from his head to top him,
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon,
She was made from his side to be close to him,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
Near his heart to be loved by him.

"Wahai Tuhan...
ku tak layak ke syurgamu ...
namun tak pula aku sanggup ke nerakamu...
kamilah hamba yang mengharap belas darimu ...

"Ya Allah...
jadikanlah kami hamba2 mu yang bertaqwa ..
ampunkan dosa2 kami, kedua ibubapa kami,
dosa semua umat2 islam yang masih hidup mahupun yang telah
meninggal dunia"...... .


Kubur itu gelap, cahayanya ialah Laa Ilaaha IllalLah.
Jika diletakkan langit dan bumi di sebelah dacing, dan kalimah ini
di sebelah yang satu lagi, pasti lebih berat lagi nilai kalimah 'Laa
ilaaha illalLah' ini..
Rasulullah saw. bersabda (mafhumnya): "Wahai manusia! Ucaplah 'Laa
ilaaha illalLah', kamu pasti berjaya!"

Marilah kita ucapkan kalimah ini:
"Laa ilaaha illallah!" x 10